Hey there late 20’s to mid 30’s married person with no children. You look a bit confused and stressed. Your eyes are red (have you been crying?). Are you ILL? No, I know you feel fine. Are you ILL, like me? An Infertility Language Learner? You don’t have to be infertile to be an ILL, though. The fact that you’re reading this means that you are either aboard the USS Fruitless or you care about someone who was conscripted into her service.
If you are in the field of education you have no doubt heard the term English Language Learner (or ELL) used with students for whom English is not their first language. When C and I began this journey we, like so many others, were just innocent recently-weds who wanted to wait until “the time was right” to have kids. We went from Not Trying, to Not NOT Trying (what does that even mean?), to Trying…and trying…and trying….to INFERTILITY! Suddenly we were cruelly tossed into a restless sea of acronyms and abbreviations, mucus and morphology, hormones and heartbreak, analyses and…alliteration, apparently.
As with any medical condition, the universe presented us with a new vocabulary to quickly absorb and allow to dominate our lives; we became Infertility Language Learners. In short order we mastered terms like endometriosis, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), sperm counts, motility & morphology…and these were just the infertility issues with which we were both diagnosed! We hadn’t even started talking about ART yet…oh, sorry…Assisted Reproductive Technology. So we were referred to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) who quickly ruled out IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) and drugs like clomid and we were sent down the merry road of IVF (in vitro fertilization) which has its own set of terms and procedures; IMI (intramuscular injections), ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection), egg retrievals, embryo transfers, and all the medications to keep straight; how much of which medication? When? Injection? Oral? Other?! Without a doubt it can be overwhelming for any couple.
As for C and me…we’re just here waiting. After months and months of studying we just had our final exams. I hope they post the results soon!
Count ’em! That’s how many fertilized, one-celled embryos that C and I are currently parents to! Dr. J’s biologist called this morning to let us know that all three of our little, precious eggs that were fertilized survived the ICSI process and are incubating, growing, and dividing at the cellular level again and again. Isn’t science amazing?
We will for sure be doing a five-day transfer, which means another Indy trip on Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning, then bed rest for two days. “Cautiously optimistic” would be how I describe my current mood. Though I am delighted that they all fertilized and can’t wait to move on to the next step, there are still so many things that could go wrong between then and now.
Also, I’m a little scared that we have three. This whole time I’ve been thinking two, and I know that three increases out chances, but do I really want three implanted? Could I really have TRIPLETS? Think of the risks! There is a high chance that not all of them will survive, or that not all of them will implant, and I know that implanting all three increases my chances of one healthy baby, but one can’t help but be concerned. Any thoughts on this?
Can’t wait until Wednesday….when the actual waiting begins!
Whew. What a crazy last 24 hours! Yesterday was incredibly stressful as I was so nervous/excited for today but I had SO much to do at work! As a chorus teacher, I had to teach all day, get my substitute plans ready for today, and get ready for/direct my Spring Choral Concert, which also was Senior Night. I didn’t get home until 9pm, where C and I immediately grabbed our stuff and walked out the door to drive 3 hours to Indianapolis. We ended up getting to the hotel at 1am. It was a long day.
I slept well, surprisingly, and I did my special retrieval meditation before I got up and showered. It really made me feel so much more relaxed and prepared for the procedure…I’m so thankful for Circle+Bloom! We headed over to the hospital at 8am and were in a room filling out paperwork by 8:15. Everything moved so quickly!
I was so happy to talk to Dr. J before the retrieval. I just have so much faith and trust in him to help this work for us. We decided, since we’re not doing cryopreservation, that he will fertilize three eggs through ICSI (injecting sperm directly into an egg) and see what happens! I’m a little nervous about this, but it really does give us a better chance of at least one healthy embryo… Once I said goodbye to C and Dr. J wheeled me to the OR, I was sedated for the procedure and they were able to get about 8 really good-looking eggs. Though sleepy and out of it for most of the ride home, I really don’t feel bad now. I’m a little bloated and tender, but really no pain at all!
Now starts the waiting. We’ll get a call tomorrow letting us know how the embryos look and if we’re going to be doing a three-day transfer (Monday) or a five-day (Wednesday). I’m so excited! I’ll keep you posted. :)
Hi. Welcome to my very first blog. Ever. I’m Kate and I’m 28 and my husband C (30) and I have been married just over four years. We have (unsuccessfully) been trying to conceive for over two years and have just started our very first in vitro fertilization cycle with Dr. J in a city about three hours away from our Midwestern town.
I wanted to start this blog as a way to talk about my experience with the process of IVF and possibly talk to others who are going through the same thing. I also would like to give other women experiencing the heartbreak of infertility (you?) a tool so they can see what they might be able to expect before starting their own IVF cycle.
If you read this, I promise to try to stay positive throughout the process, which will be a challenge for me but will help keep me focused. I promise to be honest; show you the good and the bad, share the details without exaggeration…Drama isn’t going to help anyone through this!
I can’t promise that it won’t be scary or heartbreaking, but I wish I could. I read so many of these blogs and cried and cried, sure that I would never be able to hold my own baby in my arms. I truly hope that this will be a story with a happy ending that will inspire others to be strong on their own IVF journey.